Defining the character of man
The character of man as seen in the character of God
But as he which hath called you is holy,
so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
1 Peter 1:15-16
The struggle of a man to be all that he can be has its roots in his true identity. As he struggles to discover who he is, he will struggle with being all that he discovers. In turning to the character of God to define who you are, and to define what you will be, you find freedom from those struggles.
You live in culture that allows and even demands you to create an identity for yourself. But when you refuse to yield to those demands and instead answer to the commands of God, you are able to authentic, that is real.
Your starting point of being a real man is starting with whom God is and aligning your character to His. The apostle Peter brings to the forefront of your life the essential character of God, his holiness. Through this revelation he also reveals the demand that is now placed upon your life to also be holy.
Holiness cannot be faked. When we strive to be holy we stand in stark contrast to all that is not holy. If you are to be a man who follows after God you must not follow your flesh or sinful desires.
Strive with the help of your mentor and others in your life to be holy. Strive to remove lust of the flesh and the pride of life. Strive also to do that which you know is aligned with the holiness of God. In that practice we can be holy before God. Your living a holy life is a life that pleases God and it is this life that is real.